BUNTUNG HININGA

Madalas ang buntung hininga ay senyales ng iba't ibang emosyon. Minsan dahil sa pagkabusog, minsan dahil sa pagkabagot, minsan sa pagkadismaya, minsan dahil sa pagkainis, minsan dahil sa lungkot, minsan may kasamang ngiti, minsan may kasamang simangot, pero madalas ito'y paraan ng pagpaparamdam ng pagod. Pagod sa trabaho, sa eskwela, sa pamilya, sa kaibigan, sa kasintahan, sa relasyon, sa buhay.

Lahat ng tao e ginagawa ito dahil sa kanya kanyang rason.
Sa paghinga ng malalim madalas nakakaramdam tayo ng pagiging maayos, nkakapagisip tayo ng maayos, nakakaramdam tayo ng kapayapaan, napipigilan natin na sumigaw, napipigilan natin na mainis, napipigilan natin na magalit. Yun nga lang e ang naidudulot lang nito ay pagpigil..

Napipigilan natin na ilabas kung ano talaga nararamdaman natin, napipigilan natin na sabihin ang totoo..

Sa bawat buntung hininga madalas ay may kasamang katanungan reaksyon...

Mga madalas na katanungan pagkatapos ng buntong hininga:
"Anong nangyayari sakin?"
"Anong ginagawa ko sa buhay ko?"
"Bakit ganito nararamdaman ko?"
"Tama ba ginagawa ko?"

Mga madalas na salitang binabanggit pagkatapos ng buntong hininga:
"Dana!"
"Buset!"
"Pootah!"
"Hay"
"Relax, relax"
"Shit"
"What the!"

Sa bawat paghinga ng malalim, sa bawat buntong hininga ay senyales ng hirap.. Senyales ng sakit.. Senyales ng pagpigil..

THE TRUTH

I've always felt lonely, i don't kow why..

Maybe it's because i don't have my own life.

I live my life for my family, for my friends, for my girlfriend (if i have one)..

I've learned that i should always try to help people as much as i could.

And i guess that's one of the reasons why i don't have my own life, i'm just too busy trying to help others that i forget to help myself..

And when it's time to go to bed that's when it hits you, your problems are still there, usually much worse than before, and when it's time to wake up you feel shitty that you'd just talk to yourself and say "relax, relax" then you'll need to cover your face with a pillow cause you just have this urge to curse and shout just to relieve all the pressure, all the pain.

Trying to fix things but can't fix my own self.

That's my reality..

I'm broken, in pieces and i just can't put things back together..

I sit and smoke outside our house, waiting.. Waiting for someone notice me, notice that this time i'm the one who needs fixing, i'm the one who needs help, i'm the one who needs saving.. When will it be my turn? Could someone give me a clue? When will it be my turn to say stories of how happy my life is instead of listening to others. When will my smiles stop being superficial..

I'am in pursuit of happiness right now..

ONE STEP CLOSER TO HEAVEN

It may be a piece of delicious pie..

It may be a beautiful sunset..

It may be a smile..

It may be a simple pat on the back..

It may be an instance remembered..

It may simply be a word said..

Everyone experiences heaven, different ways, different feelings
Some may be complicated and some may be simple

We may experience heaven everyday, it's just upto us
We may let others experience heaven,it's just upto us

Heaven may be a place, a person, a thing.. We can't be sure
But if there's one thing i'm sure of, it exists..

HOW TO PLAY..

The Situation..
In times of pain you feel distressed, uneasy, depressed.
You tend to stay at home or choose to go to work
but still can't do any work, you just sit there starring clueless
of what you're doing and wondering what you need to do.

During the weekends, you choose to stay home.
Watching television, you scan through all the channels
wishing that you'll get to watch a "feel good movie",
that somehow it'll help you get through everything.

You choose to eat ice cream, hoping that it'll make you feel good about yourself.
You pray that somehow someone would notice that you're in distress
and visit you, invite you to go out so that you'll have someone to talk to
and you wouldn't need to cover your face with a pillow and then shout,
just to relieve all that pain and hurt you're feeling.
You don't need to find a quiet place and meditate just to ease yourself of all that anxiety,
just to release all the pressure, a place to breath deeply to take away all the tears..


The Answer..
You need to be with people you can simply be stupid with.
People that would exactly accept you for who you are.
You need to be with friends that you wouldn't need to close your eyes
cause your afraid that they'd see in your eyes just how sad and lonely you are.
You need to be around friends that would tell just how fuckin stupid you are,
and by those words you would realize that you are that stupid then learn from it.

We all would learn from our mistakes with the help of the people around us
but unfortunately there would come a time
that we'd do a stupid thing again that would piss them off of course
and we'd hear the phrase "what the?!?" you did it again!!
For the thousand time they'll say "how stupid can you be, damn?!?"
You can just say "i'm no superman" (with a smirk on your face).

After you do that you'll hear almost all the most painful words you could imagine,
you'll feel the most painful punches, slaps..
But everything would be worth it, you know why?
Simply because after all the pain, after all the shit, after all the puches, after all the slaps,
you know that someone still cares for you, somebody still gives a damn.
Someone would still pat on you on the back and you'd know they'll always be there for you
and you would'nt owe them a thing..

The Plan..
You just have to realize that in everything that we do, a risk would be involved.
With risks, pain would be there with it.

Let us not regret anything that we did because it caused us pain..

We're not getting any younger, regrets would just pull us down,
regrets would just hold us back..

We need to do things that would make us happy, not be afraid to be true.
sing your heart out in the shower, sing under rain,
face the waves, stuff your mouth with food, drink till you puke,
be with the person you adore the most, hug the one you care for,
kiss the one you love..

In life there are no real second chances..
It's always upto us to make it happen..
So let's not waste time, enjoy..

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After you read this, tell me what you think..
Linger if all of this is true..

I'm no writer..
Just a man sharing his sleepless nights..